Studying along Paul Selig's channeled works and his new book The Book of Truth, I have the imagery of small waves constantly washing up ashore, compelled by the ocean itself. And our consciousness rides along the edge, and now this edge, and now this edge. Expanding infinity.
As I begin to observe the part of me that is still operating under historical influence, or as Paul's Guides would say, "codification," I see areas of conditioning that has been in resistance to purpose, which simply means for me the natural ebb and flow of life. Waves come, and conditioning builds sand barriers, which takes a lot of effort to build and repair and re-built with little efficacy. Yet it is encoded in belief that the experience must be so.
In setting up my new home, new work, new life, I find myself operating within the historical belief that I must effort to reach a certain comfortable plateau. The symbolic hearth must be set up, suppliers and services lined up, nest fluffed, and bed turned down.
All of that is good and on a practical level necessary. Yet I realize that aside from experiencing anxiety that originate in excitement, there is also stress that comes from projecting and reaching for an idealistic end that is informed in stealth by the collective consciousness. Must "get" there. It's not enough unless I'm constantly striving to get to the final resting place - the greenest pasture of them all (that will never be here), and there's something wrong with me if I feel enough with where I am and what I have.
Yet the purpose and meaning of life as I am understanding for myself right now, is to be with the edge of the waves that do not stop coming anew, meaning riding the changes without rigidity. Practicing intentions and surrendering to the tides and currents. In that space there is vibratory energy that not only resonates from the heart but is also in resonance with the vibratory impulses of the universe that invokes the experience of oneness.
So reflecting back to my life circumstance. I made decisions to make certain life changes to begin shedding the habit of building sand barriers and to step into the waves and ride the truth of who I am. And I find myself picking up sand buckets and scoops by rote and piling up sand again. Meaning my thoughts contract into urgency thinking, I hover in fear and don't rest in the divine, and I fall into worry. On top of that, judgement arise in condemning myself for being something not of the historical path. Expectedly the judgement itself also being historical.
What I naturally intend in flow and my truth is a balance of contemplation, discourse, service through work, experiencing my own and the universe's resourcefulness as one, and forming new alliances instead of protecting the memories of old relationships and relational paradigms that simply has passed and will not return.
My situation right now is giving me the privilege to see the historical habits and choose freedom from what-was-must-be-so. My will and desire to do so is natural and effortless. And that is my true edge and alignment to my Divine self.